we are not heroes
by she'sasiriusriot
Summary: i am not a hero and i am not fearless, i just laugh in the face of death. OT3 siriusmarleneregulus


Marlene's point of view, sorry this was the best i could russle up in the time i had (laptop problems, don't even let me start on it) so i hope it isn't too terrible

* * *

No one has ever seen me as brave.

I am stubborn, wilful, temperamental, reckless, fun, alive but no one calls me brave. Even though I'm a Gryffindor.

But I know I am brave, not simply because of my house, but because I used to be scared of so many things and I overcame them without anyone even knowing I'd ever been scared.

They say I'm fearless but I know I'm brave and that's almost better.

If I was fearless, I wouldn't have these butterflies in my stomach as I stand in front of the death eaters but I am brave so no one will ever know about the butterflies because i know that fearlessness doesn't truly exist, it's all about pretending. It's all about not letting the fear show and so, I will laugh in the face of death

Well, I laugh in Bellatrix Lestrange's face, though for all intents and purposes, she may as well be called death.

"You? Trap us?" I can hear my voice echo around the clearing, sounding both faintly amused and mocking, "You got lucky, we practically apparated on top of you."

I can feel the pressure of Sirius' hand in mine and by the way his grip tightens I know I should be quiet. I won't be though, because I am brave or at least that is what i tell myself, Emmeline calls it stupidity, she says someday that my mouth will get me killed, she says that if Sirius Black is smart enough to shut up, I should be too. Emmeline may be my best friend but she's also the biggest hypocrite in the world, she can't shut her mouth either

"I see the McKinnon girl is still here, cousin," Bellatix addresses Sirius and she looks at him. I don't want her looking at him, he should never have to see her face again, if it was up to me, he wouldn't because Sirius doesn't deserve to have to put up with that. She smiles as she turns her gaze on me, "I didn't think she'd last this long."

"She'll last longer than you will," Sirius almost throws the words at her, his voice cold in a way that I've never heard before and we can all hear the threat in his words

Bellatrix laughs and she looks at me, "If I didn't have orders, I'd show you exactly how fragile she could be." The words are meant for Sirius, a warning perhaps but the look in her eyes is for me, it promises a long death and i know the look is mirrored in my eyes. I don't know if the idea of someone wanting to kill me or the feeling of wanting to kill someone is scarier

I am brave thoughso I will pretend that neither bothers me, so I speak, almost conversationally, "You don't strike me as the type of person to follow orders."

I am not prepared for the curse that propels me backwards, away from Sirius and then hard into a tree. I groan as I land awkwardly on my left leg, I don't even want to look at the damage. I don't want to focus on the pain. I am brave, I will not cry, not now, not here.

Faintly I hear venomous protest, insults and curses and I know they come from Sirius and from another voice that's familiar, from somewhere.

Bellatrix says nothing at first and I can see that she's gotten smarter, she knows engaging in a fight of words with Sirius will get her nowhere, words have never been her strong point, it's one thing we have in common.

Then the voices stop and before I even know what's happening, someone is hauling me to my feet. I know it isn't Sirius, he would probably just lift me, no matter how much I would protest, but whoever they are, they're trying to help me. Their arm is round my shoulders, supporting me and even though I refuse to open my eyes because of the dizziness in my head, I think I recognise them.

I hope for the sake of Sirius' sanity that I'm wrong. He's too young.

I know it's him, the hand on my back, the voice in my ear, it's all familiar and it breaks my heart a little bit, this is my fault. I could have saved him, I could have tried, 'someone will save you but it's not me,' what kind of reassurance was that for someone who needed help. The words he whispers in my ear stick in my head even as i shake my head.

"It's not to late, Marlene."

He doesn't understand how deep he is in all of this, he's a child and i could have saved him.

I could have saved him but I wouldn't risk it, not for lack of bravery but because i refused to risk myself and Sirius to save him.

"Marlene," I open my eyes at the sound of my name and the world tilts. It takes a few moments for everything to return to normal but when it does I see Sirius looking at me and I can see concern in each inch of his face even though the expression on it makes him almost unrecognisable. His brother has disappeared but the guilt is still there, the guilt will never leave because no matter how many times I have let him down, Regulus Black is always there.

The clearing is silent.

Sirius grips my hand again and I look at him, avoiding Regulus, he gives me a slight smile and I can't doubt my choice, I may not be capable of saving anyone, least of all Regulus but with Sirius it's different, we rely on each other and we will face this together because we are not heroes.


End file.
